Monday, March 21, 2011

Mirrors

What would we do without mirrors?
Do you ever think about it?
We're so used to the fact that we can look at ourselves as if we're watching someone else, that we take it for granted. What we don't always realize though is that we use other kinds of mirrors too, let's call them "non visual" mirrors.
What I mean with this is that sometimes we use our friends, or people we know (or sometimes even people we don't know) as a mirror to better understand things in our life that we have trouble understanding or handling. This can take different forms, the most normal being that you just talk to your friends about a problem, and hear their point of view on it: they can provide an outside perspective on something that is harder to see for you, just like a mirror helps you see parts of yourself that others can see but you cannot. Then, moving things one step beyond, sometimes there are people that we're particularly close to, or that know us very well, and "mirroring" ourselves in their eyes becomes a regular habit.
These behaviors are natural, even healthy in a way, so much so that there's a whole industry built around it.
There are a few caveats though, that we can sum up with this sentence: mirrors can fool you!
How many times have you been taken by surprise, by seeing someone in your field of vision, to later realize that it was yourself reflected in a mirror (or a window or whatnot)? This can happen with non-visual mirrors too, and it can be a lot sneakier because what's really going on is not as obvious, and we can be fooled for longer (or forever).
Sometimes we're so used to opening up with certain people, that the familiarity thus generated can lead us to see this relationship in a new light, dressing it up with meaning that can be just in our own head (I believe Shrinks call this "transfer", but please don't quote me on this because I'm not sure).
Another thing that can happen, sometimes we project our own behaviors onto someone else, basically pinning one or more of our own traits (flaws, virtues, angers, anything) onto the person that we're interacting with: exactly like the unexpected visual mirror, we see ourselves and think it's someone else.
The problem is that, while with the visual mirror we understand the issue in very little time, and we can adjust our perception and move past it, with a non-visual mirror the problem might not be obvious, or visible at all, for the interested parties.
Dangerous path, that can lead us to build up resentment, or some other feeling, towards someone while what's really going on is that we're carrying on a inner fight. The other person knows nothing of what's going on, and somehow we make him/her responsible. If they feel this resentment they might respond, and not knowing what's going on things can take a bad spin quite easily. Unless the communication is strong and open, it's a slippery slope.
Mirrors are great, but like any great thing, they should be used wisely.

Mahalo

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Food for thought

Or should I say "thoughts on food"?. This video definitely makes you think about the things you eat

I'm definitely not the kind of person that is obsessed with nutritional values, calories intake and so on. I like to eat, and my rule of thumb is just to make sure my diet is as varied and diversified as possible. I also believe that your state of mind while you eat plays a major role in how you assimilate the food, but that's a whole different story altogether, maybe some other time...
What this video points out though is how messed up the food that is available to most of us is: most food in the developed world is processed, or impoverished by some highly efficient farming/growing/breeding technology that makes sure we get more, prettier and faster, for less money... the actual quality of what we eat is somewhat irrelevant in this picture.

Kind of sad, isn't it?

Mahalo